How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize