I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
