And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
