You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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