You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
