even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
