If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize