Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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