Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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