I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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