But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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