well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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