Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
