I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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