So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
