I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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