That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
