made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
