I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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