she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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