Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
