Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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