I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
