I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize