Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
