i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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