We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
