So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize