you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
