We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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