i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
