Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
