Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
as a side note pls kill me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
