Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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