So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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