Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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