Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize