will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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