tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
