if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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