it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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