there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
