i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
