I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
this is an emotional support booty call
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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