thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
