If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
