I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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