"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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