my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
