normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize