If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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