Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
