Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I seem to have left my pride at pride
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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