i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
