I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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