I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize